25 Weeks 2 Days

25 weeks 2 days -- a number, a time frame, a milestone I will never forget.  The week and day during my pregnancy when Logan was born, too early, unexpected.  The week and day I am currently on during this rainbow pregnancy.

I miss Logan, with every breathe I take.  Especially today.

My nerves are raw - waiting, wondering, questioning, doubting every twinge, cramp, pressure.

Baby girl decided to sit on a nerve in the middle of the night.  She was laying low.  I had the slightest cramp that lasted for nearly an hour.  My mind raced, my heart ached.  I took deep breaths, switched positions, drank an entire bottle of water, and finally settled, falling asleep somewhere in between a gripping fear and a sigh of relief.  I woke up this morning feeling "normal" (as normal as you can feel pregnant).  Still, the last two days and the next weeks to follow will be filled with an underlying question:  is today the day?

I do believe she will be our take home baby.  I can see her here, in our arms, learning to crawl, walk, and talk. I can see her, daddy's princess, curled up on his chest, both passed out for a lazy Sunday afternoon nap.  I can see myself dressing in her in pretty bows and dresses and taking her for long walks in the park.  But seeing her in my mind and actually feeling her and watching her grow are two different things.

Only 12 more weeks.  Twelve more weeks until we get to meet our baby girl.

:: Please, body, I beg of you, keep my baby safe in my womb for the next 12 weeks to come.  Let my cervix stay long and curvy.  Allow the shots I dread each week be effective in keeping preterm labor at bay.  Please don't let me (or her) down.  I promise to care for you and get you molded back into the healthy, thinner version we both prefer once baby girl is safe and sound in our arms.  Please, Please, Please....and thank you! ::

Logan - 25 weeks 2 days - October 2010

:: I miss you, baby boy.  And I love you more...Love always, Mommy::

Baby Girl - 25 weeks 1 day - March 31, 2012

:: Sweet Baby Girl, just 12 more weeks.  Stay safe, warm, and snuggled close until then. Keep growing, my love.  Love always, Mommy ::